Three Days
by insert witty
Summary: After a car crash, Matt's put into coma and it comes out as a terrible shock for Tk. He begins to write his brother letters for every day that passes... It's just that Matt only has three more days left in life.. Matt/Tk brother-fic! Please read!
1. Day One

Disclaimer: I don't own Digimon! But if I did… :D

**Three Days **by ThatGirl

**~chapter one, Day One~**

Dear Matt        10.04 pm      9/3-2002       

How am I supposed to begin this letter?   
You're in a coma, Matt. There was a car accident and the buss you were in was hit pretty badly. You were the only one in it, but it's hard to bring myself to feel thankful for that. You were hurt. Worse than you've ever been hurt before and you've been in a coma since they got you to the hospital. It pains me so much to see you hooked up to all of those wires and machines. It pains me so much I'm almost breaking apart inside. It just doesn't fit you. Don't take me wrong, Matt, but it really doesn't fit you to be in a coma. You've always been the strong one… the one who seemed not to need anyone and the one who seemed to be able to carry the whole world on your shoulders.

I guess I was wrong. I guess a drunk driver in a Volvo can chance stuff like that. 

When the doctors told us, dad, mum and I, that you might not be waking up, I didn't believe him.  
"You're lying!" I screamed and slapped away mum's hand from mine when she tried to comfort me. I got my legs moving and ran to this room where I found you.   
I don't even know why I'm writing this stupid letter. 

I'm crying now, you know. I'm sorry, but I can't help myself at this moment. I know you hate it when I cry. That's the reason why this letter is tearstained… and I hope the ink wont smudge.

Dear Matt       10.50 pm       9/3-2002              

My head hurts. This killer headache has been plaguing it since they called from the hospital and said that you were there. I had heard about the accident on the radio but could have never even in my wildest fantasies guessed that you would've been in it.

Mum, dad and a doctor found me here twenty minutes ago. I told them I wanted to stay here with you and they let me. At first, they tried talking to me some more, but I'm at a total loss of words, Matt. I couldn't get anything more than a weak "I wanna stay with onii-san," out of my mouth and I'm not only writing this. I haven't said a word since mum finally gave up and left me alone. Or no… not alone. You're here. You're only in a coma…

Someone opens the door… It's mum. She sends you a worried look. She really does care about you, Matt. You have to know that she loves you. 

"Tk," mum says as she turns to me. I don't know why, but I don't want to answer her. Maybe I understand now how you felt when you were quiet and didn't want to speak. 

"Tk," mum repeats. "Tk, say something, please,"

I turn my head away and close my eyes. Tears are burning behind their lids. 

If you're wondering about that ugly line that's drawn on this page, it's because the pen was pressed against the paper when mum just hugged me and I tried not to show her what I've written here. Mum and I rarely fight and we're close, but this feels too personal to be shown. 

She leaves the room without giving neither you nor me another glance. I don't think I am the only on hurting here, by far. Dad hasn't even come into this room yet, but I can see him outside the room, in the corridor, looking in through the window in the wall. I've sat here in the corner for about forty-five minutes now. But don't worry. I won't leave you here alone. I know that even if you don't show it, you hate being alone and these plain, white walls look so unfriendly.

No one has told our friends yet. I don't think that mum would be able to break the news and dad is still staring through at you through the window, not daring to come in. 

Matt, you're too pale… And the beeping machine that's showing how you are is getting on my nerves. It's almost as if it's counting the seconds until you die. _If_ you die…

Please don't do that! I don't know what I would do if that machine flat lined right now. And that's what the doctors told us it could do. 

"His life is hanging on a very thin line, but this machine keeps him alive for now."

_For now._

Those words haunt me. I'm so scared… 

I can hear voices talking outside the room we're in. The door is slightly open and I recognise two of the three. One is Mum and the other is dad. 

"I'm very sorry, but…" the unknown one says. She's probably a doctor or a nurse. 

"Please…" dad whispers. I can almost see him putting a shaking hand to his forehead.

"Mr. Ishida, be reasonable. If not for you, at least for your son,"

Dad falls silent and doesn't object anymore after that statement. In fact, he doesn't say anything else at all. He's as quiet as the grave. 

The doctor sighs, but continues. "Your son is in a very critical condition. If he doesn't come out of his coma or becomes able to breathe on his own in at least three days, we _have to_ unplug him."

Mum gasps and I think she's going to say something, but the doctor beats her to it.

"I'm sorry, but we can't keep him here in an eternity. There are other patients waiting and if the only thing that keeps him alive is a machine, he's already more dead than alive."

Clapping sounds of the doctor's shoes are heard in the hallway and then they slowly fade into nothing. 

I'm empty. 

Mum is crying in the corridor and dad is just standing there, doubtlessly completely shocked out of his mind.

I'm empty. 

No… feelings are starting to come to me again now…

I'm sad.  I'm shocked. I'm speechless. I'm angry. I'm angry with you. I'm furious! No, I'm more than just angry and furious… I can't explain it. I'm screaming. I'm hiding. I'm covering my head and face with my hands, while tears are streaming out over my eyes like waterfalls. I want to punch and slap and beat you until you wake up and can say you're sorry for making me feel like this and then, when I've done that, I never want to see you again!

But when I look at you lying there in that big white bed, eyes shut and your entire being showing that you're so vulnerable and helpless I've ever seen you before, I… I just can't bring myself to think like that then, Matt. Believe me, it's impossible. 

…But… God, I don't know what to write… Just… make it through, okay? Please?

A/N: *hides behind the couch* I hope that wasn't too bad… There's more of this to come… Please review!


	2. Day Two

Disclaimer: I don't own Digimon! But if I did… :D

A/N: Thanks to Sapphire Goddess, Sphynx, KuTtIeBaBi, and EllaJ.W for the reviews^_^ They're greatly appreciated! 

**Three Days **by ThatGirl

**~chapter two, Day Two~**

Dear Matt       04.01 am   10/3-2002 __

Hi again. It's four am in the morning and it's still dark outside, but I can't sleep. I've been awake since three. 

The doctors let us spend the night here in your room. I'm going to refer to it as 'your' room from now on, since I've understood that that's what it's going to be. At least for some time now. 

Mum is lying on a bench outside, in the corridor, and so is dad. I'm the only one who gets to sleep inside of here with you, because there is only one small bed in your room, not counting the one you're lying in. 

I wonder what made me wake up. That machine's never-ending beeping or my own state of mind… I still haven't uttered a word to anyone. It's almost as if I'm mute, my voice not here and my mouth as dry as an autumn leaf. My eyes are like that too now. Dry, I mean. I ran out of tears last night, and gone with those are also my feelings it seems like. I'm empty. Or not entirely empty… There is like this tiny, nagging lump in my stomach and a huge one in my throat, so big it's nearly shutting off the air. Those lumps are made out of worry, I think. The taste of them is disgusting, but I'll manage. I have to keep up the hope, right? Not loose faith, right? Not doubt you'll ever open your eyes again and breathe on your own again, right? 

Oh, just prefect… I'm crying again. I guess those tears I thought I'd run out of weren't far away after all. I feel so small… But it's better to cry than to be all empty inside. At least that's my opinion. What's yours?

Dear Matt      10.30 am    10/3-2002

Mum and dad brought me breakfast from the cafeteria. It's strange to sit here and eat while you just lie there in your bed. You usually eat with me, you being the one who had cooked the food. When I see you now, you're just laying there, eyes closed and skin pale, being fed by a tube the doctors have attached in your arm with a needle. You've always hated needles. 

Would you hear me if I spoke to you? Or are you just as dead to the world as the doctors tells me you are? 

A telephone is ringing. I think it's your mobile. 

Dad got it for you when he went home last night to fetch some of your stuff from your room. Your guitar was too big, but your old harmonica is here. Dad still didn't come into the room. He just gave the bag to mum and then stayed in the corridor, looking at his two sons through that window. I can't help but to thing it must've been a poor sight… His eldest, unconscious and hooked up to wires and forced to depend on a machine to breathe, and his youngest sitting in a chair in the corner of the room, curled up in a ball with his knees to his chest and scribbling on this. A poor sight without a doubt. 

Your phone stopped ringing. I don't think I would've been able to answer it in any case, but I'm at least going to check who it was.

It was Tai. 

Oh, man… No one's told him… No one's told your other friends either. I wonder why he called you. Was he going to apologise to you for your latest quarrel? Maybe you had made up some plans to go to the soccer field or something? Or maybe he just wanted to talk to his best friend about whatever was on his mind? 

Either cause, I don't think he was expecting you not to be at home in the apartment and not to even answer on the mobile. 

Beep-beep! Beep-beep!

An SMS. It's most likely from Tai. I'm just going to check what it says…

"Where r u? I thought u were coming, but I guess I was wrong! Nice way to support ur friend! The game is over now anyway. Call me, will ya," 

What am I going to do? Answer it?

"Matt is in the hospital. There was a car accident. Sorry," It's short and sounds a little cold to me, but what else can I write? I don't really have the energy to send anything, and even less to fuss it up. I press the button with a green phone on it when the mobile asks me if I want to send.

After a few minutes it beeps again.

"R u kiddin me? Stop it, Matt. It's not fun and that was the lousiest excuse I've ever heard."

I draw a shaky sigh and feel tears welling up in my eyes once more. 

"Sorry, it's not a joke. This is Tk and Matt is in a coma. He's in the Odaiba hospital. Sorry,"

I press the 'send'-button weakly and wait for a reply.

I'll wait for about ten minutes before I give up.

Sorry if I've gotten you into trouble with Tai now, Matt. But I'm sure he'll understand when he sees you. 

Great, I'm crying. _Again_.

Dear Matt      10.55 am     10/3-2002 

No reply has come…

Dear Matt     11.08 am      10/3-2002

Tai called about five minutes ago.

My first "Hello?" was raspy and I had to clear my throat before I was able to repeat it. 

"Tk…?" Tai asked, sounding as if he just had been hit by lightning. 

I snivelled. 

"Tk," Tai said again. "Can I talk to Matt?" 

Fresh tears rolled down my cheeks when I with a broken voice told him "No".

It was quiet for a long while. 

"He's in the hospital?" 

I nodded, forgetting for a moment that Tai couldn't see it through the phone. But I guess my silence told him enough. 

Matt, promise me you'll wake up…

Tai hung up on me. I have no idea what he's doing now, but I hope it's not anything stupid. 

Do you think it was right of me to tell him?

I'm going to move a bit closer to you. I've been in your room for more than thirteen hours, but haven't been any closer to you than two metres. 

There. 

I'm holding your hand now, Matt, and I wonder if you can feel it. 

You know, you look a lot like mum sometimes. Not that you look like a girl or something, but sometimes you do look like mum. Now is one of those moments. Your hair isn't styled as it use to be, and it's spread over your head and the pillow just like mum's hair is when she's asleep, and your face is completely relaxed. I don't think I've ever seen your face so peaceful, without any traces of tension anywhere. Not even when you sleep you're that relaxed. It's both soothing and terrifying at the same time. In a way, you look more alive than I've ever seen you, yet your entire face expresses the total serenity of death. But I don't want to think of death in the same room as you. You've always been everything _but_ death, Matt. 

Though… Your hand is as cold as ice.

Dear Matt     06.33 pm      10/3-2002

Tai was here. He came to the hospital about half an hour after he got to know you're here and left a few minutes ago. It frightens me what the thought of loosing you can do to people who know you, Matt. I've never ever seen Tai cry before. At least not like that. He was almost bawling like a little kid, tears streaming out of his eyes in litres. 

I hope you know how much you mean to everybody.

When Tai got to know exactly what happened, he yelled that he would kill the one who did it. When he caught him. 

The police still doesn't know who it was who had been drinking and driving that day, hitting your bus, and I don't think they ever will. The driver was amazingly not hurt after the impact and got out of the car and ran. The few people outside were either too shocked or busy with calling someone or trying to help you and the bus driver.  

I wonder if Tai really would kill him. Part of me wants that bastard dead, but I know that's not right. Maybe he's got a family somewhere, or friends who would miss him. Though I doubt people would miss him as much as they would miss you if you died. I doubt it strongly.

When or …if… you wake up, I'm either going to let you read these letters or burn them. Whichever way, I love you, Matt. I'll miss you, but I'll always love you.

A/N: Aww, c'mon… Please write a review! 


	3. Day Three

Disclaimer: I don't own Digimon! But if I did… :D

A/N: Many thanks to KoNy, Debbie4u, EllaJ.W, Sapphire Goddess, zara, Arrei, and Faeryfish! You're reviews were, and are^_^, greatly appreciated! 

**Three Days **by ThatGirl

**~chapter three, Day Three~**

Dear Matt      03.00 pm     11/3-2002

Things aren't looking up. Today is the last day, and they're going to unplug you from that machine, Matt. They say you probably won't make it. That you're still to injured and weak to breathe on your own. That you'll die a peaceful death without any pain, without even knowing you just died. 

You won't ever walk down the hall in school again. You won't ever say "Hi, squirt," again and give me a hug, and you'll never ever going to see the sun again, not even for one last time. People will miss your voice when you sing, and your friends and I will miss… 

We'll miss you. 

_Your _empty seat in the classroom will shine with _your_ absence. _Your_ absence will make itself reminded whenever I look at _your_ picture. _Your_ picture will bring tears to the eyes of _your_ friends and family. _Your_ friends and family will… No, I'm sorry. I can't and shouldn't continue… It's stupid and pointless and it hurts and I don't want to. I don't want to sit here and be like if you're already dead. All I want is for you to wake up, but the doctors have told me that they're sorry, but certain you won't. The chance is like 0.1 in a million, or less. It's too slim even me to get my hopes up on.

I just want to scream and clutch my head and wail until everything goes away and turns back to normal. This isn't the way it should be. You shouldn't die and you shouldn't even be in a coma. It's wrong! Wrong and… and so unfair!   
Mum says that life is unfair sometimes. She also says that the ones God loves die young, because he wants them to be with him in heaven, but I don't want to believe that. And if that really is the case, God is nothing but a SELFISH idiot! …Or… No, I shouldn't say that. I'm sorry. 

I'm sorry.   
I'm sorry!

I'm sorry, Matt… And I guess should apologize to God too… But mostly Matt. I'm not mad at you, don't even think that thought, but this is hard for me, okay? You've always been there for me, and I always thought you would be too, and I've never even _tried_ to picture a world without you in it. It seems impossible. Things like these were never supposed to happen. Not to me, you, not to anyone.

If I glance at the clock, I will see that there's only thirty minutes left for you to live. So I won't. 

Mum and dad should be coming soon, though I wonder if dad will be able to get himself into the room. He should, because otherwise, I think he knows he'll regret it for the rest of his life.

  
Dear Matt      04.23 pm     11/3-2002

I don't know what to write. I love you, onii-san. I'm speechless.

I sat there beside you, still clutching your hand, as the doctor came into your room. He sat down in one of those chairs that look really comfortable, but in reality aren't. He didn't even _try_ to talk to me, just sat there, waiting for mum and dad to finally show up. When they did, he got up, grabbed a notebook and his pen, and greeted them as if they were old friends of his. Dad reluctantly got himself inside of your room. The first thing he did was to take the other seat beside you, and then tears welled up in his eyes. It was a long time since I last saw our dad cry, if I've _ever_ seen him cry. He always gives the impression of being so 'unemotional', but I know he loves you more than you can imagine. I think his bad conscience is the reason why he hasn't _dared_ to come into your room to see you, and just stayed outside, looking in through that window. Maybe it all felt a bit less real for him like that? I don't know…

And you lust lay there, quiet, unruffled and pale as the moon.

I watched as mum signed some sort of form, a thick bundle of papers, and then her hands started trembling so much that she dropped the pen.

The doctor drew a deep sigh and looked from you to me, to our parents, and then back to you.

"Who is going to… err… pull the plug?" he asked awkwardly. "I'm sorry to sound so drastic, but you do know that it is against our policy to…"

"We know." dad said, his voice breaking. He still kept his gaze on you, holding one of your motionless hands, and not cowering for a second this time. "Just… isn't there any way we could just get a little more time…?"

The doctor answered with silence.

After a while, mum broke it.

"Tk? Would you like to...?"

 I stared at her in shock.  
_No!_

She was asking me to take the life of my own brother! I can't believe that the thought even crossed her mind! I could never do such a thing, and especially not to you, Matt!

I shook my head furiously and clasped your hand even tighter, as if I thought you'd squeeze back.

Mum looked pleadingly at the doctor, who sighed again and slowly, like Death himself, made his way to the horrible, beeping machine. He looked at his wrist-watch and lay a hand on the socket.

"Death occurred at… 03.42 pm."

He then pulled it with a snap.

At first there was nothing. Absolutely nothing. The beeps of the machine were gone, and weirdly enough, all I wished for in that moment was to hear them again. In my chest, there was a strange ache. It spread from there, all the way to my fingertips, my throat and my eyes, even my legs. It made the lump in my throat swell enough for me to almost choke on and the small muscles in my face pulled as I tried stopping my lip from quivering. I brought your cold hand to my hot tears that were streaming down my cheeks, and then let out a pain-racked wail. I just wanted to creep out of my skin. 

I could distantly hear mum and dad's sobs, as from far, far away from me. 

My heartbeats felt rasp and it ached only to breathe. I can remember the feeling so clearly it pains me even now to just think back at it. Numbing and tearing and throbbing and screaming, all at the same time, gnawing at my most inner being.

It was then the unimaginable happened…

_You breathed.       _

A/N: Aww, c'mon… Please write a review!****


	4. Dear Tk

Disclaimer: I don't own Digimon! But if I did… :D

Thanks to: blueshocker, cooldas, FUN, Fordina, Jedi Master Ry-On, Care Bear, zara, Dracotk, crystal of psyche, EllaJ.W, Sapphire Goddess, Maya H, The SiLkEn DaWn, Manix, Julia, Debbie4u, KoNy, yamatoforever, Angel Karora, Yaoi Banshee of Death, Kari Ishikawa, Jackie and Nips! You guys are great! :)

A/N: I'm really sorry it took such a long time to get this done, but I accidentally deleted the text before I'd saved it… ~___~ And that's the reason to why this probably is kinnda badly written and short But oh well… please read and review anyway! I *hope* it's okay!

**Three Days **by ThatGirl

**~chapter four, Dear Tk~**

Dear Tk     13/3-2002 

You gave me those letters you wrote me as soon as my foggy mind had cleared enough for me to be able to read them. And what should I say? "Thank you", maybe? I thought the least I could do was to write something to you. I don't know… Something I _do_ know though, is that this is going to come out totally weird. Everything is still feeling pretty unreal. Like if it's all a delusion. Light, warmth… Dreamlike.

Man, it feels odd to be writing this. A letter, or whatever to call it, to you. But at least I'm glad you didn't burn what you wrote to me, while I was still in a coma. 

You have no idea how many times I've tried to figure out a way to begin this. But I guess that this time, I'm just going to let it be, no matter how stupid it sounds.

First of all, I have to say I'm sorry. Sorry for all I've put you through. Or… I suppose I'm not to blame for the accident, but that doesn't stop me from feeling guilty about what you, our parents and our friends have been through. It must've been really tough. I mean…really tough. When I read your letters, I sort of got the feeling of that… You're good at writing stuff down, Tk. Maybe you should consider that when you get older and is to choose what you want to become when you become an adult. 

I almost can't believe I'm alive at all.

A miracle.

That's what the doctors told me. The simple fact that I'm recovering is a wonder, they say, but I don't know about miracles and wonders… Not when it comes to me, anyway. I am no miracle, you see, and that's something I know for sure. Don't object to me now, even though I know you will, but miracles are something special.

You asked me if I think it is "better to cry than to be all empty inside" before. And when I get the question like that, so simple and clear-cut, my answer is definitely the same as yours. To cry is way better than to be empty inside, because there's nothing worse than to be like that. You're more dead than alive when you're empty, but still… all the other times and situations when I've asked myself that question, despite the fact that I didn't use the exact same words, I've chosen to be empty rather than to cry. Don't wonder why, for the plain reason that I can't give you an answer to that one. I can't explain it, but… maybe it's easier? At least it's feels easier for me. Just to push it all away, and simply not think about it. You become empty, but you escape the sadness. Maybe I'll think of this if I ever get put in a situation where that is asked question again.

It's strange how I've been dead to the world for three days straight, yet still can feel tired. I slept almost the whole day yesterday. I guess you noticed. You were there when I woke up. 

I hope you don't come by today. And don't take that the wrong way, Tk, I just mean that you probably haven't got much sleep the latest time. I was really groggy and pretty much out of it yesterday, but I did see that you had dark bags under your eyes and all in all was looking wearier than I've ever seen you before.

You could've even competed with dad, Tk. Though dad's on the road to recovery anyway. He came by after work this day and wanted to see me. We didn't really talk, he just sat there on the chair beside the bed I'm lying in, but I think he's better now. Mr. 'cough-workaholic-cough' Ishida is back in business, and that has to mean he's well again.

The others are coming by tomorrow. I'm looking forward to that. I haven't seen them in what seems like ages now, mainly because it feels like I've been gone for a hundred years. They weren't allowed to see me while I was unconscious you told me yesterday when I asked. No one but relatives could see me. I must have really been in a seriously critical condition. I know Tai was here, but he hadn't reported himself in those big desks with glass windows on them, the 'Information' by the entrance of the hospital. At least I think that's the name… My head's still a bit foggy and I've got a hard time managing to pick and remember words and names of some things. That's normal the doctors say, and it'll get better while I "recover further". I probably wont even get any other permanent damages out of this either, apart from the scars from the operation they had to do on me. But I can live with scars. As long as I _do live_, I am perfectly fine with it. 

/Matt

A/N: I hope that didn't suck too much… *fidgets nervously* Please Review!

/ThatGirl


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